1 Buy flowers for boss.
2 Cut the red wire.
3 Spank a cat. Bad kitty.
4 Hold pee.
5 Bathe in glue.
6 Duplicate self.
7 French Braids.
8 Learn to play the whole piano (the black keys too, not just the white ones).
9 Burn something.
10 Get the Hawaii Five-O theme song out of head (trade for Bonanza).
11 Body slam/massage a judge.
12 For today only: refuse medical assistance if offered.
13 Make a concerted effort to lack the kind of common sense that most people understand inherently.
14 Go on the internet and learn a thing or two about American college fraternity history.